Emergency

You! Call 911!

So fitting that my Tuesday post about emergencies is published late, on a Wednesday ;)

This is a quick one, checking in on what seems to be amping up in the world around me…friends, family, strangers with increasingly intense, immediately demanding life circumstances - emergencies that overwhelm.

Many have been treading water in a way, already in crisis-mode, when the newest calamity befell. No wonder so many relate the feeling of drowning.

Maybe a closer inspection of “emergency”, and a loosening of preconceptions, will give more space and bring new resources.

I could use that, I know.

The word emergency is strange, in that the definition, “"unforeseen occurrence requiring immediate attention”, is so far from the root of the word.

“Emergency” is from the present participle of Latin “emergere”, combining “out” and “to dip, plunge, immerse”. Something previously hidden, submerged you could say, comes out…emerges.

Is that what an emergency is to us?

What would it mean if we received the sudden, unforeseen happenings requiring us to stop “regular” life and give our full attention…as revealings?

Maybe unforeseen, but needing to be seen?

Rather than evidence of the chaotic nature of being human - accidental falls, lightening strikes, dog bites - maybe emergencies are a glimpse of the other side of the Möbius strip of our reality?

These “unseen”, often unconscious truths we live with daily in our periphery…ignoring, dismissing, at times actively covering up with denial. A locked box in the back of our brains holding the scary monster truth that threatens to escape and wreck our world unless we sedate with alcohol or CBD gummies, meditate to reach a “peace” agreement, or use mental ninja skills to create an airtight story that seals the container. Until it doesn’t.

As an ER doc, and no stranger to emergencies in my own life story, I ponder how much of what I have seen was truly “unforeseen”. Most appears to be the willful avoidance of a growing energy that required the crash to be acknowledged.

Heart attacks that reveal the truth of unfulfilled longings in relationship, or ambitious striving for career to prove self-worth. Teen “accidental” overdoses that force families to address dysfunction and distress. Hurricane flooding that brings a community to its knees, to see each other together from a different vantage point.

I am not suggesting that the tragedies we endure are our own making…rather wondering if, when tragedy strikes, we would feel more capable - less underwater - if we looked with less resistance at what we are being shown about ourselves and others.

What we think our limits and capabilities are, and how the previous understanding of ourselves can grow.

Without the emergencies in my life, I would not have had cause to re-evaluate priorities, ditch all but the essential bits of meaning, and clarify what the heck I wanted to do with this one life I’m given.

Those crises, especially the ones that came when I was already mid-catastrophe, forced me to develop parts of myself - patience, stamina, flexibility, creative problem-solving - that allowed more of who I am to be lived in truth. Frequently only after uncovering real and feared inadequacies. Facing truths I would otherwise have left in deep water, given the choice.

I spent most of my life, without realizing the energy cost, “recovering” from emergencies and working for “stability”…you know, that “all quiet on the Western front” feeling that it is safe to rest for a moment. Until I acknowledged that my resting baseline was just lower degrees of “fight or flight”…which had me examine what I was guarding (“re-covering”), and discover the monster boxes.

As the nervous system backlog of survival mode was processed in me, I curiously found many of the happenings that I had viewed as “crises” were…happenings. Repeated exposures to sudden change became opportunities for me to mine more of what I am as a human, and practice the values I had distilled as my essence.

Emotions from PTSD-like similar stress-provokers lessened in intensity and duration when I stopped denying the feels in the first place. That felt like moving more into the present, where I needed to be to deal rationally with challenges.

Somewhere along the line, I felt the grace of compassion and love for myself, and the spectrum of emotional and mental responses I had to “emergencies”. I felt…human. Strong and frail, powerful and vulnerable, wise and foolish, and finding more love in it all.

The space between “crisis” and “not crisis” got smaller, which felt like the waves of “emergency” didn’t tower so high anymore.

For me, that meant I had more space for holding ground for others when they were struck by crisis. Loving and supporting in ways that helped them see more clearly their own truth. Acknowledging the intensity of pain, the suffering that is inescapable in human living.

Sometimes life sucks. Really sucks. I think it sucks more when we are alone.

Maybe, like in the movie “Inside Out”, where Riley finds her tears bring support and comfort from parents, mixing up sorrow and joy, what emerges from emergencies is the human connection - the truth that we are not alone. Thrust into the movie scene with others, chances are there will be love given, and love received.

photo credit: biasedmoviethoughts.com

So, what is an “emergency”?

If, paradoxically, the drowning sense of overwhelm when confronted with abrupt circumstances is the opposite of those circumstances appearing “out of immersion”, overshadowing our reality and overpowering our normal defenses…

I say flip it.

Experiment with emergencies as emergence…a coming forth of new life, new opportunity, new truth about our connectedness and unity.

Stand above the waves, looking down into the abyss and seeing more clearly what truths are presented, and choose a direction - scary as the choosing is - that is yours.

And when standing is not possible, when the waves crash over your head, threatening your life breath, and drowning is imminent…if you can summon one thought…remember more. More.

Not the more of “I can’t handle any more”…after that one passes, remember the more of emergence.

Yes there will be the sobs of grief, the screams of anger, and the paralyzing silence of apathy…and more.

What would it feel like if I was more than I think I am?

Let me know what you uncover ;)